M³ Evolving Woman

Throughout the Greek pantheon, we’ve seen evidence of stagnation, of an inability to change. Yet we just looked at story of Aphrodite picking up the craft of weaving. Athena invented this craft, yet Aphrodite became skilled enough to make Athena want to renounce her claim to weaving altogether.

F³ Story Time

I scooted over to the empty seat, letting Ginny take my seat as she climbed in with a copy of The Cat in The Hat. It was a perennial favorite, and I knew it pretty well. I held the book open and low for her to see the words as I read.

“‘The sun did not shine.’ It rarely did in the City by the Bay.”

Ginny looked at me, but didn’t say anything.

“With the fog thick as whipped cream and rain pouring down, ‘It was too wet to play.’”

Ginny gave a little pout. “That’s not how it goes.”

“Are you sure? It says right here, ‘It was too wet to play.’” I pointed to the line.

She frowned at me, but then said, “uh huh.”

I kept going, telling the real story.

“The real story?”

“Sure. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I should know, I used to read it to Cassie all the time.”

“The Cat in The Hat according to Philip Marlowe?”

“Sam Spade, actually. Marlowe was from LA.” I pressed the cookie cutter down, creating another gingerbread fedora, laying it on top of the man Nikki had cut out.

“You have a unique way of corrupting youth, Matthew.”

“It’s what I do, doll.”

M³ Working Woman

One day, Aphrodite got curious and started weaving on a loom. Eventually, Athena caught her at this. We all know Athena is pretty possessive when it comes to weaving. She invented the craft and turned Arachne into a spider because of it. So we can expect something will happen here. We want it to be a Catfight of Epic Proportions™.

F³ A Sap

In short order I had enough milk to contain the ginger inferno in my mouth, and Amanda brought enough to share with Ellie, too, who had moved from tears to snickers at my condition.

“One year I dared Leo to eat some raw ginger, and he acted the same way.”

“For reference, I would never accept a dare like that, and in the future I will always test any gingerbread men before eating so much of one.”

M³ Winning Is Everything

So Aphrodite cheats the court’s decision. No, she doesn’t flat out break the rules as that would not be allowed. The details of the case are that Adonis gets four months to spend however he wishes. Now if he chooses to spend it with one of the goddesses, that’s his choice, except when it’s not.

F³ The Danger of Gingerbread

I hustled into the kitchen, leaving Nikki in the living room. From memory I started gathering the things I needed.

“I didn’t come here for cookies, but for the rest of the story. I presume you are not finished.”

“Nope, that’s it.”

“You have not covered the danger of the gingerbread. Emotionally, yes, but no danger, as of yet.”

“Oh, that. Well, make yourself useful, then.” I pushed the canisters of flour and brown sugar her way along with the measure cups and a big bowl.

M³ Pretty Boy

So Persephone has the chest, and Aphrodite expects her not to open it, but we all know what happens when you give a box to someone in mythology: they open it. Okay, yes, Pandora didn’t open a box, she opened a jar, but we all know what we meant. Besides, squeezing an infant into a jar is just not practical.

On finding the boy, she raises him to manhood, which means Aphrodite has been gone for a while or the kid grows freakishly fast. After he’s a man, Persephone takes him on as her lover. Yeah, it’s kind of awkward, isn’t it? Even though Persephone is in no way related to him, she still raised him. So now we have a pseudo-incestuous relationship, here. Remember the side effects of parenting according to mythology? Yeah.

Anyway, Aphrodite finds out about this, and wants the kid back because she wanted Adonis for the same reason.

Does anyone else hear David Lee Roth’s cover of “Just A Gigolo / I Ain’t Got Nobody”? Just me? Well, okay then.

So Adonis’s only value to these two goddesses is for his body. It gets so bad that the matter actually goes to trial. Now, Zeus is a smart cookie, as we’ve seen, and what we’ve got here is a court case between two of his daughters, arguing over the man with whom they wish to cheat on their husbands with. Yeah, no way he’s going to get into that one.

He transfers the case (which is something he does quite frequently) to another court. Judge Calliope (of the Muses) gets jurisdiction. She more or less goes the Solomon route, here, dividing the year into thirds so that each goddess gets four months and Adonis gets time to himself, which I thought was considerate of Calliope to think that the guy might want some time to, you know, live his own life.

We are dealing with gods, though, and no story can end that simply. Aphrodite cheats.

F³ Powerful Memories

Mildred let me have a few gingerbread men. I passed a couple to Mikey’s mom as I returned to my seat. She had calmed Mikey’s sister into sleep on her shoulder. She mouthed a thank you to me and I smiled back. I set my remaining reward cookies on the tray table while I buckled in. Ellie was typing away at the laptop again.

M³ Stashed Away

So, yeah, it’s weird being born from a tree. But it’s Greek myth, what’re you going to do? As stated before, Aphrodite feels a bit responsible for the death of Smyrna, so she took the baby and locked him in a box. Perfectly normal thing to do, right? Mythologies around the world agree that this produces perfectly well-adjusted people, so you can throw away your parenting manuals.

Please don’t follow the advice of mythology on parenting.