I was almost out of patience listening to the muzak on the phone, but it did finally give way to a person.
“Thank you
for calling Milpack Customer Service. My name is Debbie, how can I help you?”
“Yeah. I
need to send my backpack in for some repair.”
“Can I have
your name, sir?”
“Reilly
Hawkins.”
“H-A-W-K-I-N-S?”
“Yep.”
“I see you
have two of our backpacks. Is this the charcoal or the navy?”
“The navy.”
“I see. Can
you describe the damage? It might be covered under our warranty.”
“Heh, doubt
it. So there’s this real douchebag takes a disliking to me. A Hothead who was
showing off with his flamethrower, and he got it too close to my pack. Entire
front is roasted, almost gone.”
“He
apologized,” Natalie said. “After.”
I flipped
her off. It was just as much her fault for goading Carl in the first place.
“A
flamethrower?” Debbie said.
“Yeah. Live
hard, play hard, you know?”
“I suppose
so. Well, I’m afraid that is not covered by our warranty, and if it’s as
damaged as you say, we won’t be able to repair it. However, it is an
interesting story, and if you send in the bag, we might be able to give you a
discount on a new one.”
“That’s
great. Got it all boxed up with the story. Just need the Return number.”
“How did
you know to—Oh! I see that you’ve used our return service before . . . four
times?”
“That
sounds right.”
“Sir, can I
ask what line of work you’re in?”
“I’m a
Storm Rider.”
Natalie
rolled her eyes at me.
“One of
those people who chase down storms?”
“No, those
would be storm chasers. We’re kind of an elite, private, um, security firm, and
we get lots of experimental weapons.”
Natalie
chuckled at that, sending out a quick lightning bolt to blast one of the beer
bottles we had set up. It was a small bolt, so it only sizzled and popped
instead of boomed.
“A-all
right. The return number is Ax678324. I have a card on file for you, should I
charge the new backpack to that card?”
“Yeah, the
Visa, that’s fine.”
“You should
get it in red this time,” Natalie said.
“I’m sorry,
sir, did you say you wanted it in red?”
“No, navy
is fine.”
“Well, we
will rush the order to you as soon as we receive your shipment.”
“Thanks.”