Working Relationships

We naturally gravitate towards people similar to us. We look for common interests in friends and spouses, and even in professional circles. We're closer to those family who are more like us, too. When it comes to professional circles and family, we're stuck. We don't get to choose all of them. We all have that family member that we don't get along with, but usually we can distance ourselves from them so that we don't get rubbed the wrong way except every now and again at family events.
At work, we're well and truly stuck. We have to see them nearly every day, and it can really wear. I talked about policies as a kind of guideline to the personality of an employer, and I think that's right. The personalities that come through in policies are an indicator as to how a particular person or employer works. They are policies that agree with your own personal policies, then all is good. If there is a difference, if there is a lopsided relationship, then there will probably be drastic trouble down the road.
I think it's important for people to know themselves (a la Sun Tzu) in order to know how to work well with others. What are the policies that will clash? Where do you agree? What about personality conflicts? What compromises can be made that won't compromise your sense of self?